Accepting my truths were my greatest revelations. One of my truths was I not only carried my hurt and my pain, but also those of others. By others, I mean my family. I realized I was carrying generational identity issues and concerns. I refer to this as “unconscionable DNA”. This is defined as the stuff we receive from our family unbeknownst to us. According to Webster, unconscionable in simple terms means unfair.
Let me give you an example. Most of my life I felt as though I was worthless and rejected. As I began the healing process, I asked myself, where did this come from? For as long as I can remember, I was doted on by my grandmothers, my aunts and uncles, after all I am the oldest grandchild on both sides. So how could I possibly feel this way?
As a coach, I know when dealing with issues, one may have to not only do some personal soul searching, but also reflect on and identify the issues of our parents. For example, my mother became pregnant with me at the age of 17. At that time, the societal stigma around teen pregnancy was not positive as a “certain” type of young lady allowed herself to become a teenage mother. I reflected on how she felt at the reaction of my grandmother to her pregnancy. I reflected on how she felt as her “friends” stopped visiting and how they looked at her as she watched them go to school from the living window. I reflected on how she felt going to night school because she could not attend school with everyone else while being pregnant. This was a lot for her to deal with at 17.
I don’t think my mother ever dealt with these feelings. As I watched her growing up, she dealt with self-doubt, low self-esteem, always needing to feel included, as well as doubting her intelligence. Side note: Now her truth is being referred to her as “Dr". A great achievement that outshadows the stigma of being a teenager mother. Proud daughter speaking!! And now back to my point...unfortunately, her thoughts around self image and worth were placed upon me. Out of her love for me and the desire to shield me from experiencing her pain, she "pushed" me to socialize in places I never fit. See, I was a bookworm who found joy reading alone in my room. And soon, I began wondering if something was wrong with me and I too developed issues around self-image, self-worth and rejection. I never had the joy of truly becoming Dicy, but I became a distorted image of who I was being "saved" from becoming.
My recent posts, where I shared my journey on finding my voice and forgiving myself, paved the way for me to not only stand in ALL of my truths. I now own MY stuff, MY actions, and MY decisions, while fully accepting how I see myself. Standing in MY truth also meant I had the right to only accepting MY issues and not my parents, or their parents, or even the generations before them. This did not affect the love I have for my mother, grandmother or my family, it just made me very aware. I began reflecting on what “DNA” I was placing upon my children. I apologize all the time when I see any “unconscionable DNA” rear its ugly head. Being aware is the first step in the ongoing process towards breaking the pattern of behaviors.
When we realize God's dreams and visions for our life, we often allow the lies of the enemy to become our truth. And if we are honest, he never changes the language. These lies appear as our “unconscionable DNA”. “You can’t do that.” “You don’t have the talent” “You are worthless.” Until we unlearn, have the courage to re-learn and stand in our truth, it is vital to stand on the truth God speaks over us. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13. “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Exodus 2:10. “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not evil, to give you a future and hope.” Jeremiah 29:11
What are your truths?
Which ones are your greatest revelations?
How do you see yourself?
What “unconscionable DNA” are you able to identify? Look at every aspect of your life, including your finances. How does it make you feel? Where or who did it come from?
What is your dream/vision?
What lies has the enemy been telling you?
What are truths are God speaking over you?
Doing my “truth” work helped me dream again. I can now see and accept God’s purpose and vision for my life. I want everyone to get to this place. I want everyone to write the vision, allow God to make it plain and work the plan. Standing on God’s truth about who we are will help lighten what we carry and reveal the “unconscionable DNA”, the familial baggage that doesn’t belong to us.
I encourage everyone to do the work. And if you need someone to help navigate the journey, celebrate every accomplishment and revelation, I am here for you. It’s time to unpack your bags! God has more revelations to reveal, but we must have room to receive them.